Everyone and Everything is Sexy

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You should do more videos or shoving things ALL the way in your ass like butt plugs, dildo's, ooo and chains, to the point it disappears in your asshole and your belly extends. I do it all the time and it feels amazing. Maybe some apples. Like 3 of them.

Anonymous

Oh I do when I can!  It’s fun if you work your way up to a large size then shoot back down quickly—things don’t seem so big anymore!  Now, most of my dildoes have “balls” built onto them—and that’s because they’re meant to stop them from going in all the way.

So, I feel the need to put in a disclaimer here for my newer-to-anal readers: it is not suggested you ever put any toy completely in your ass (so none of it is sticking out).  The reason?  Well, if you’ve spent any time playing around with your guts, you understand there’s a push/pull to how things go in there—if you practice a bit you can even tense and relax certain muscles to have your ass like “suck” a guy (don’t take my secret technique!).  So, with that push and pull, you’re usually fine since you’ve got that base sticking out—so even if your ass in pulling in, whatever you got will stay out from slipping in.

Of course, as you’ve seen in some of my vids, I don’t always do that and sometimes deliberately go further than I should.  That’s because I’m confident in what I’m putting up there and…fuck it.  Now, when I was younger, I did some not-so-smart things.  And as I’ve advised against, I made my own at-home toys.  Including…image

Golf balls…not eggs.  Ovipositor fetishes are difficult to accommodate (Maybe not…HINT HINT FORESHADOWING)  Anyway, so little old me decides that golf balls were an easily obtained, smooth bunch of things to shove up my hole.  And lo!  They were!  I could fit three in my hole before the 4th would push the 1st one past my rectum and into my colon.

image

Now, there’s an issue with feeling good—you tend to get led around by your dick pretty easily.  So I figure, if 4 feels good, why not 5?  Or 6?  Or 7?  And with each one I added, I felt the next one slip into the colon, and push the ones before them deeper.  Felt AWESOME to be so full!  And with the push/pull, I could feel them being drawn deeper and each of the balls rubbing against each other…so good it didn’t take me long to cum.

image

Which meant it was time for them to come out.  Of course the 7th was the easiest, quickly followed by the 6th…the 5th took a little more of a push, kind of like I was pushing out a turd.

So an interesting thing happens when you bare down like that…things tighten up.  So while I was indeed getting the last three out…those that were far up enough were staying there.  And I detected that.  Freaked out for a second, but then I thought I’d just relax and let ‘em slip out.  Got the 4th out somewhat quickly…the 3rd required me to dig in a big and to REMEMBER to relax, but I got it out.  As for the 2nd and 1st…I couldn’t even feel them when I probed up in my hole.

That’s when I freaked out.  Of course, freaking out does NOTHING to help you relax.  Immediately I wondered how long I could go before going to the hospital.  And since I was underage, I was wondering what parent I would shame to pick me up from the ER…or even if I managed the hospital fine, then who would get the explanation of benefits for the insurance?  I tried to relax myself some, pressing around on my innards from the outside.  I could feel the bones in my hip, and somewhere deep there, a couple of golf balls…maybe.  It was hard to tell. 

Eventually, enough relaxation and want of not going to the ER resulted in me getting those last two out…took me about an hour and a half.  And from that point on, I remembered to not do 7 again…maybe 4 or 5, but not 7.  Didn’t want to end up like this:

imageNote that’s a pool ball, not a golf ball.

Now, something I could have done to be a bit “safer” would be to put them in a condom or find some other way to have of retrieving them.  There are also some toys that have hollowed bits or designs that “help” them stay stuck if they get in too deep.

So, despite how good it might feel, unless you want to end up in the ER, don’t do it.

Let a professional* do it!

Hi! Why do you keep bothering answering questions about your HIV status? It's not their business. It's your business and your partners. Anyways... Great blog! And good luck in Seattle ;-)

Well, occasionally the questions asked are a great education opportunity.

Occasionally.

By this point I think I’ve answered pretty much everything I can!

Oh look at that nice car. Nothing lewd in this photo at all. Nope.

Oh look at that nice car. Nothing lewd in this photo at all. Nope.

Maybe I won’t look completely drunk in my 2020 license photo. But for now…

Maybe I won’t look completely drunk in my 2020 license photo. But for now…

Posted in 2011—still accurate. 

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

gayfistpassiv:

fistopen:

Genau so möchte ich das auch mal

I may actually be infected with the Rage virus from 28 Days Later.

Also? My eyes are now festive Christmas colors! 

Also? I’ll stop posting gross ass pictures of my nasty eyes now.

I may actually be infected with the Rage virus from 28 Days Later.

Also? My eyes are now festive Christmas colors!

Also? I’ll stop posting gross ass pictures of my nasty eyes now.

I suppose they didn’t like my wacky faces for the facial!

I suppose they didn’t like my wacky faces for the facial!

(Source: gueedo)

The good news is that I don’t have to worry about getting pink eye in both my eyes now. The bad news is that it is because I have pink eye in both my eyes now, despite washing my hands just about every 10 minutes.

The good news is that I don’t have to worry about getting pink eye in both my eyes now. The bad news is that it is because I have pink eye in both my eyes now, despite washing my hands just about every 10 minutes.

Well, this explains why smoking fetishes are so prevalent in the gay community!