Everyone and Everything is Sexy

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Time for a break tumblr. It’s not you, it’s me. I have to do some serious self-reflection, and this time in private and by myself. I’ll be checking out of “social media” for a period of time. I’ll be back, but I have to go find myself again first.

Actually you could say pup play evolved in positive way, as it allowed younger members to join the leather community while retaining some control and comfort in a submissive position. Yes it's not true "Slavery" most of the time, but it's still close enough without being too extreme that it JUST remains in the most peoples comfort zone and allows younger guys to justify practicing whatever kink or fetish they might have in a comfortable and safe headspace.

Oh I’m not saying it changed in a positive or negative way because it’s not either—it simply is.  I mean bottom line, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to indulge a kink, it’s just an observation I’ve noticed along with some other peers of mine.  I don’t think it’s fair to say that it necessarily “allowed” younger folks to join the leather community - it’s always been open doors to “boys”.  There’s also the fact that not all pups are part of the leather community, and not all leather communities have pups.

I mean if you really want to put the rewind on it, go back even further.  You know where pup play came from?  Pony play.  Which came from (gasp) straight people!  image

And there’s a totally different dynamic between the two - they’re together in so much as they involve an animal dynamic and (typically) a trainer/handler/whatever.  I don’t think there’s been a particularly strong pony-play dynamic in the gay realms, or at least they’ve been not nearly as popular as puppy place recently.  I think that’s the other thing—I’ve seen puppy play in its current form (very public, lots of pageantry, much more focused on “packs”, some crossover with the furry community) only recently - I’d say the real “explosion” has only been the past 7-8 years, whereas in its older form (more one-on-one dynamics, maybe a couple of pups play together for their handlers, some aspects of humiliation and D/s) I’ve seen it across the waters for quite some time.

I don’t think the goal is “slavery” for many of the pups I know.  I mean, many of the guys into the “original” form, yes, that’s part of their submissive role, but again I wouldn’t pick “slavery” as the term.  There are certainly those into that, but I find most of the younger crowd are seeking the pup community and friendships, along with the guidance of someone older who knows the ropes and provide education and teaching.

I think the main thing I disagree with in your post (which unfortunately is so very common) is the misunderstanding of the D/s relationship.  Not necessarily your understanding, but the viewpoint of new folks in the D/s scene.  I think it’s just a product of the accessibility of porn nowadays that there are SO many young guys who think that D/s = TPE.  That is to say, Slave =/= submissive.  The way that I view a slave is as a person who is the legal property of another and as such does their bidding/orders.  Now of course, no matter what prop contracts a master makes for their slave and gets notarized or whatever, legally, you cannot consent or be bound to anything illegal you agree to.  It’s like even in financial domination - for blackmail you can draft a contract so it’s like “See, you screwed yourself because you CONSENTED to being blackmailed!” but that’s not the way it works - blackmail is still illegal, period.

So I think a lot of guys get excited about the scene and the idea of being property, but like for many other kinks, some people are excited by the idea and not the reality.  It’s like bugchasing and castration - LOTS of guys into those, particularly because of the permanence.  Some follow-through, but many who keep it just in the realm of fantasy - and that’s OK.

Now, back to subs having control and comfort in their position.  Like I’ve mentioned before, any good power-exchange relationship requires a level of trust.  Trust in that the Dom will take care of the sub, and trust in the sub that he’ll meet his Dom’s needs.  If you really really think about it, where does the power lie?  It’s actually shared in a D/s relationship.  The sub is choosing to give it to the Dom - and that act in itself is a great display of power.  I mean ultimately, who is the one given the safe word (in before “DERP WE DON’T HAVE SAFE WORDS WE’RE TOO HARDCORE FOR THAT” because guess what, if you’ve ever ended a scene or wanted things to change and said something about it, you’ve got safe words, just not one easy ‘flag’)?  The sub is.  They have the ability to equalize and restore power with one word.  The Dom is trusting they’ll use it when it’s needed and the sub is trusting his Dom to bring him as close as he can to that without exceeding it.

My soapbox is far positioned away from pup-play at this point - to make a long story short -

 - submissives would benefit from understanding the power exchange that goes in with them adopting that role.  It does not mean a complete surrender of every thing and every thought and every action (but it can for some).  If you are not comfortable in what you’re doing, don’t do it regardless of what it is.  Doesn’t matter if it’s being fucked while bound and intermittently dunked underwater (depicted below)

or missionary position under the blankets with the lights off (also depicted below)

If a pup is not okay with being collared, that’s OK.  They have that choice.  This is kind of coming from the “jerk-off-to-it-and-then-decide” view point.  Pretty much whenever making an important sexual decision, jerk off first and then re-evaluate.  I cannot tell you how much better your life will be from seeing what you truly want and what you just think you want.  True, there are benefits to taking risks, and hopefully you’ll be able to assess what are healthy risks and what aren’t.

I’m rambling, jesus.  Last thing I want to say is that no one should take what I write as the word of god.  I’m just writing my position on things taking my experiences and my knowledge of relationships based on my background in psychology and slamming the two together.  How you do your kink is right for you, period.  Don’t ever let someone (especially me) tell you otherwise.

Another indicator I might be sick - this is considered not enough clothes to wear to bed. And it’s only 5:45 p.m.. Also, how is it normal to post to social media that one is sick? Weird…

Another indicator I might be sick - this is considered not enough clothes to wear to bed. And it’s only 5:45 p.m.. Also, how is it normal to post to social media that one is sick? Weird…

Anyone remember when pup play used to be part of humiliation and not just a new title for 20-somethings?

My favorite guys are the ones who message me on scruff like “Hey man! I’m gonna be there in 3-4 months for business, you wanna hook up while I’m there?” That’s almost a GUARANTEE they’re unemployed and just catfishing.

The absolutely INCREDIBLE amount of diarrhea I’ve donated to the toilet bowl in the past 2 hours seems to suggest I may be ill.

Joke’s on you, body—i already did my scat vid this afternoon! For real-real.

HAHA.

ha

heh.

The absolutely INCREDIBLE amount of diarrhea I’ve donated to the toilet bowl in the past 2 hours seems to suggest I may be ill.

Joke’s on you, body—i already did my scat vid this afternoon! For real-real.

HAHA.

ha

heh.

Blah

Blah

Jeffrey (1995) - Spoilers for a 19 year old film

Back in 1995 a gay film was released called Jeffrey.  Basically this guy Jeffrey decides sex is too dangerous to have nowadays so he decides to call it quits and everyone else spends the entire movie showing him what an ass he is.

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Now the first time I saw the movie was with my man.  I had mentioned how there were so many crappy gay movies nowadays that were mostly focused on hot guys in sexually suggestive situations, but no plot.  Jeffrey is somewhat different in that regard - more of a “slice of life” sort of film.  Except man I hated Steven Weber.  Not the actor, but his character.

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Pretty much the moment he swears off sex he runs into Steve (Michael Weiss), the PERFECT man for whatever reason.  And then he finds out Steve is HIV+ and spends the entire rest of the film going “WAAAH, I CAN’T LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE POSITIVE WHICH MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO DIE (BECAUSE YOU’RE HIV+) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS GOD WHY ARE YOU HIV POSITIVE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU TRICKED ME INTO LOVING YOU GOD I HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING DIE ALONE OF YOUR AIDS”

That’s really pretty much all his dialogue adds up to.

So, for star-power, Patrick Stewart plays Sterling, who is madly in love with his partner Darius (Bryan Batt—gay guy on Mad Men?).  The two provide Jeffrey with advice and confident sassy-gay one-liners.

Then there was one scene where they’re doing their usual banter and Darius coughs.  A nice, full cough.  Sterling asks if he’s alright, Darius waves him off, and the movie runs on.

"AIDS.  Right there." I said to my boyfriend.

"What?  What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"That cough - that was the ‘signal’ that he’s got AIDS - not even HIV - and he is pretty much guaranteed to die.  He’s got a half-hour and will be somehow crucial in Jeffrey accepting Steve.  He’s doomed.  Done.  Look at the box art - he’s not even on it!"

I was right.  Sure enough, as the movie progressed, so did Darius’ infection, actually ending in a very beautiful scene with Patrick Stewart shitting on Jeffrey for being an inhuman, unlikable cunt.

I remember that trope in LOTS of things - TV shows, movies, books - there would always be some ancillary character whose purpose was literally to be like “OH NO, AIDS”. If it was a TV series, they were safe and would just be there to inform the main characters of the dangers of unsafe sex/injection drug use, but if this was a made-for-TV movie or blockbuster release?  Nope, dead as a doornail.

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Whoops.  “Rent” spoilers.  Click here to relive the touching departure.

Is there a name for that trope?

Barebacking = HAIL SATAN(?)

I was always confused by this.  There are a HUGE following of guys who are like “WOOF FUCKING RAW BAREBACKING, HAIL SATAN BRO TAKE HIS POZ UNHOLY SEED”

Now, in my being raised as a good little Christian, I remember the church being very anti-condom.  It was actually a sin to use a condom, since that was a device to prevent the main purpose of sex - making babies.

So, wouldn’t it actually be more anti-God’s will and satanic to use condoms?

Not like I would ever advocate condom usage, jesus.